Purilaw Story

"If I did the surgery, you will have the risk of injuring your sensory nerve, you might get numb in that area for--worst case--permanently. If you scared, and if you felt like the surgery is not yet necessary, that it hasn't disturb you that much. You can choose to back out, it's okay, but keep maintaining that way. But of course, if it gets worse, it could leads to having cyst (threatening you to have a baby) or also maybe a tumor. Your choice." Said the doctor that will operate the surgery in my mouth, to get rid of my right molar that won't grow outside of my gum, because apparently my jaw is waaay too small to make way. I've been living with this one unwanted and unexpected molar for two years or so, his brother (somehow in my mind they're male) the left molar, had been dissected a year ago. With a female dentist, that almost gave up half way, and keep complaining how small my jaw really is (The pain was more of a mentally than physically) Now...

10. 10 is the total number of one set from my Personal Trainer at the gym. We usually do 4 sets for upper and 3 sets for lower (friggin leg day) Each consists of 10 repetition. 10. Ten. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. It may seems like a few. But sure it was hell. 10. Who would've thought that reaching for that 10 is like climbing a mountain? The 10 are different in every sets and movement and the time where it placed. The beginning of the training wasn't that hard cause you still have your full energy. (Except for friggin leg day.) The first set usually weird, adapting, because we haven't yet fully get the form concept. Sometimes it may seems so easy or so hard, because the form wasn't yet right. So the 10 wasn't that hard. But for the second set, since we know what was wrong, we can fix it. And it's not as so easy or so hard as the first set, it's... right. You can feel the pain, but the right kind of pain. The 10 started to act, but we can tolerate....

I have a twin brother, we were in the same womb together, we only separate by 5 minutes when we were being born into the world. We were together for the entire early and middle childhood phase. We were best friends. Until we got to adolescent. Adolescent was a messy phase, it was the time puberty begin to start. And all those biological changes happens to the boy and the girl body. Hormones begins to blow up. In some way in middle school, we begin to drift a part. We have our own friends. Our own thoughts and opinions that's so oppose from each other. When we step outside the car when mom drop us off, we changed from a family member, a house mate to an acquaintance at school. We don't talk. Unless it's to make people believe that we are friends. Because how sad it would be to see a twin brother and sister basically a strangers? It all continue up to high school, it never gets better. For one time I think we changed when we went student exchange together, but when we...

If I ever get to multazzam, before making wishes to anything else. I'll be praying for God to take me away. To Him. Yes living is fun whatsoever. But isn't life is all about being dead in the end? The world is a scary and confusing place. Don't you had enough? And besides, what's the best place to be dead than the Holy Ka'Bah?

Junior High is a phase for adolescence, the early and middle childhood era has done. I moved from Islamic elementary school to an international private school. When I was about to graduate elementary, at first, my parents doesn't want to moved me and my twin brother, and just continue JH in the same school. They said something about financial situation, we can not afford to go to another school and pay the "uang pangkal" let alone it'd be the most expensive international private school. I was so mad at them, the idea of spending more of my time at my old school is so scary, believe me, it's not the school that you'd be so crazy to attend too. But after being mad at them for a year, I kinda feel like I have to let it go. Maybe they too doesn't have an option. But as you see, miracles happened. Alhamdulillah. For God knows what reason it is, one day, they told us that we can move, to that most expensive international school in the city. And the joy was b...