My God, i dreamt to be a writer but i havent touch my blog in a long time, maybe its grown up things to do I guess, you dont have time to live if you write everything about it, or i'm just busy making my own stories to write! well that's a good excuse.
So it's been like all this time i've been fooling myself and not being real, i feel like i'm being fake all the time, this is not me, im wearing my mask, maybe honestly im just too afraid of being myself, or i forgot who am i used to be. I used to be a big slacker with no worries of everything, I give shits to everyone but myself. I was so wrong at living. I had enough of it bcs it doesnt feel so good omg, i dont miss me then, but i do miss everything but myself. and now im sitting here thinking to be not self-centered. but who am i kidding. its everything about me now. Ego? Maybe. But you'll see.
I may closed this blog, or just abandoned it. HONESTLY, WHO CARES. Everybody just curious, but doesnt care. People shouldnt be like that but im sorry its not our fault to live in this generation. EVEN when i thought i always be the dove in the middle of the chickens. bcs OMG I'm old. Not in age way but in thinking way. Plus i'm so old fashioned i should just hang out with the grandmas. I still dont get it why tho, i'm the happy one who always think positive. Like when we got this teacher that EVERYONE hate but ME. I mean he's nice and i like the way he teachs. What exactly do you want. you shouldnt hate a person just because everybody hates it. ITS NOT a trend. ITS NOT something fetch. ITS JUST NOT COOL TO BE BAD. Okay.
My point is (as if i even got one) i dont want to be a person I AM NOT. I want to be myself. And I'm happy, I'm enough, I dont want more. Its good to be someone you are meant to be. ITS NOT YOUR JOB TO PLEASED EVERYONE. ITS NOT YOUR JOB TO BE LIKE. SO STOP ACTING TO BE SOMEONE YOU ARE NOT.
As in for me, I want to make some confessions.
I'M A GEEK, I'M SOCIALLY AWKWARD PENGUIN, SOMETIMES I THINK I HAVE SOCIETY ANXIETY IN MY MENTAL PROBLEM, I HAVE TRUST ISSUES, I LIKE TO KEEP SOMETHING FOR MYSELF, BCS I KNOW ONLY ME WHO GETS IT, I FEEL BAD WHEN PEOPLE DO STUFFS FOR ME, I DONT WANT TO TROUBLED PEOPLE WITH MY PROBLEM, I SMILE WHEN I SHOULD EVEN IF ITS HARD, I BURIED MY FEELINGS DEEP IN MY SOUL, I DONT LIKE TO BE SCOLD ON BCS IM AFRAID THEY WILL GET HURT, I RATHER BE SILENT THAN OTHER PEOPLE DO, I DONT CARE STUFFS THAT MAKE ME INCONVENIENCE AS LONG AS THEY DONT, SOMETIMES I LIKE CATS MORE THAN PEOPLE, AND I'M A DRAMATIC KINDA PERSON BCS I CRY A LOT, I'M A MOM'S CHILD. I LIKE ANIME AND MANGAS. I USED TO BE OTAKU AND I THINK I'VE COME BACK. I WANT TO GO TO USA BUT IM AFRAID OF GUNS. I WANT TO GO TO ENGLAND BUT IM AFRAID I WILL GET COLD EVERYDAY. I LIKE KOREAN DRAMA. I SECRETLY LOVE JAPAN. AND I NEVER WANT TO DISAPPOINT MY MOM.
Now that's my confessions and its up to you to believe it or not, some true and some dont. im telling you.
(the point: be true to your heart)
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